PezBerry Life
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: Drabbles based on Tumblr prompts. Pezberry femslash.
1. Who Uses All the Hot Water?

**Pezberry Life**

_Who uses all the hot water?_

"Aaargh!"

"Where's the spider this time?" Santana asked, strolling into their room.

"Santana! Why is there no hot water?" Rachel grumbled.

"Because I went for a run this morning. And when I returned, my beautiful and randomly horny girlfriend decided that she wanted all up on this. After which, she proceeded to pass out, while I had to get ready for work. Thus, I took a long, luxurious shower in hopes of washing all the sex off me. And now it is…six hours later, and you're just now getting into the shower?"

"You do realize that if I'd given that long of an answer, you would've teased me?" Rachel asked.

"Yup. Go run through it cold—we're meeting Blaine and Dave for dinner."

"I hate you right now."

"Love you too, Shortie."


	2. Favorite Nonsexual Activity

**Pezberry Life**

_Favorite nonsexual activity_

"We need to strategize!"

"Fuck that! We need to go explode some shit."

"Get the hover craft!"

"I'm trying!"

"Taking fire under the arch!"

"Yeah, take that, fag!" a boy's voice rang in their headsets.

Santana cringed and waited for the inevitable.

"Excuse me? That is terribly offensive! It's cruel and unfair of you to subject fellow XBox Live players to that sort of abuse. And by your voice, I'm guessing you're not old enough to know how much damage those types of words can do. What would your mother say if she heard you using that language? Don't you know that word dates back to—FUCK!"

"Did you just die, Rachel?" Santana asked.

"That little bastard threw a grenade at my head!"

"I think we need to find a better way to bond while you're stuck in L.A."


	3. Who Leaves Their Stuff Around?

**Pezberry Life**

_Who leaves their stuff around?_

Santana walked into the apartment and stopped dead. No. Not today. Not when she had work colleagues coming over in less than three hours. "Rachel!"

Her wife peeked out from the kitchen. "Hi baby!"

Counting to ten, Santana took a deep breath and asked, "Is there a reason your crafting supplies are all over the fucking place?"

"I thought I would make little napkin holders…you know, to add a nice touch."

"Rachel, they're going to be here at seven!"

"I know, and I have dinner in the oven already. I'll clean it up and hop in the shower real quick."

"Real quick?" Santana looked around. "It looks like Hobby Lobby invaded our place and fucking self-destructed!"

Rachel walked over and wrapped her arms around her. "I know. Please just listen. I understand how important this dinner is to you. I promise everything will be perfect. Stop stressing. Go get ready, and by the time you come back down, this place will be spotless."

Santana released a breath. "Fine. Just next time, let's make fancy napkin holders the weekend before, or something."

"Deal," Rachel said, kissing her cheek.


	4. Pizza Toppings

**Pezberry Life**

_Pizza toppings_

Rachel was a traditionalist when it came to pizza. One topping, maybe two, and that was it. And the toppings had to match. Pepperoni with mushroom, sausage with bell pepper…something sensible. This was why she normally did the ordering. But she'd been lazy today, and Santana had picked up dinner. And now she was suffering the consequences….

"Gross, Santana!"

"You haven't even tried it!"

"I swear, I'm going vegan again."

"No way! We're not going back to the nuts and berries scene. I braved three years of that with you. Those tears when you told me you were giving it up? Those were real—straight up tears of joy, because no matter what anyone says, vegan cheese is not the same."

"Well, you're not doing much to keep me on the side of the carnivores," Rachel said, smirking.

"Just try it."

"Why, Santana? Why would you mix these things together? This is some unholy trinity—"

"Quinn's ears probably just perked up in Albany. We'll have to call her and Brittany later and see…."

"Sorry?"

"Nothing. Just try it, baby?"

Rachel glared down at the pepperoni, pineapple, and olive pizza, and picked up a slice. "If this causes a rift in the space-time continuum, don't blame me." She closed her eyes and took a bite.

Santana knew she'd won. There was a look Rachel got when she ate something really good. It was sort of the same look she got when she opened a new book of music. "I won't say I told you so…."


	5. Silliest Fights

**Pezberry Life**

_Silliest fights_

"We've been through this…."

"Yeah, and you're still wrong."

"I am not! You're being ridiculous."

"Look, it was cute in high school, but it's time to grow up…. You have to accept the fact that I'm right, here."

"I don't get you sometimes. I really don't. You logic makes no sense to me."

"Would you like to be the pot or the kettle?"

"Don't be so judgmental!"

"I'm not being judgmental! I just think you need to sort out your priorities. As a performer, you should really know better."

"Don't bring me as a performer into this, Santana Lopez! It's got nothing to do with that. And besides, if you want to go down that road, the best performers have varied tastes."

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you like *NSYNC better than Backstreet Boys…."


End file.
